ran into a bit of the trouble

[series of Forum posts]

Ivyman ... ran into a bit of the trouble ...

and i wont be makin it to the game and all ... i did
like you be tellin me and makin the helmet out of the
aluminum foil and it be lookin just like the old helmet
once i painted it red (even had sum of the same dents
and stuff) and it did block the homin device and all but
that aint what be causin the problem cus i be thinkin
this policeman be an old buddy of yours or sum thing ...

since i cleaned out the tool box on the pickup truck and
it be all empty i be thinkin it be the greatest cooler
in the world for doin the tailgaten and so i be puttin
in nearly four cases and six bags of ice and not even
puttin a dent in that tool box and so i be headin down
the road sippen a sud, whistlen with the radio a goin
and the sun be shinin and the wind a whistlen when out
of no where this ring neck pheasant bird comes a flyin
up and smashes into the wind shield ... no need to be
sayin that it about scares me to the death and knocks the
bird off sum where crackin the wind shield and spillin
the suds all over me so i be pullin off the road to check
thinks out and thats when i be gettin this great tought
that there cant be nothin better then roasted pheasant
with sum good suds for the tailgatenin ... but that was
a bad thought Ivyman cus i had no idea that your old
frend be comin up the road!!

so any ways now i tracked back a ways and found the
pheasant lyin in the ditch so i piked him up and tossed
it in to the tool box with the ice and suds and be
figurin to be gettin back in to the truck and gettin on
down the road and suprisen every one with sum grilled
flamed pheasant when your old buddy be pullin up and
flippin on them flashin lites .....

oops Ivyman but i gotta go and get the old photo taken
but i be gettin back soon...

your piken frend - sixpackman

ps i piked Stony Brook (one of them good vs evil things again)

* * * * * * * * * * * *

i hate them photos ... any ways now ...

so your buddy be gettin out of the cruiser and inquirin
what the problem be so i just tell him i was checkin out
the truck and all and i think every thing would have been
cool and all except i be noticen a certain ivy school ring
on this finger and since he be about your age i couldnt
resist sayin sumptin about that tough lost to the Brown a
couple weeks ago ... well his face be gettin all red and
he start starin reel hard at me when all of a sudden that
pheasant that i be thinkin was dead was only part dead cus
it be comin to life and starts poundin around in the metal
tool box and ir be sound like canons going off .........

well your frend be a jumpin half a mile straight up and
pullin out his gun and i be diven under the truck thinkin
that any one that be gettin an ivy ring and a gun has got
to be dangerous and all and he be screamin at me wantin
to know what be in that tool box and i be sayin it just
be sum beer and ice so he be callin for the back up on
that little radio he got and lookin under the truck and
tellin me to get out reel slow and all ....

well two more of them cruisers be pullin up and every one
be listenin to the thumpin goin on and they be pointed
guns every where and it aint to long now that your buddy
be deciden to check out the tool box ....

well Ivyman i forgot to mention a few things about truck
liners, being on a hill and that tool box aint exactly
water tight and all but now they be wantin to imprint my
fingers so i be gettin back soon ....

your piken frend - sixpackman.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

and of course the lax balls ....

that i had tossed in the back in my stick had all come
loose so the first thing that happen when your frend be
openin the tailgate was all them lax balls come a rollin
out every where and be bouncin down the hill and since
the truck be jacked up a bit your buddy be havin to heave
his big ... up and he aint no sooner got him self standin
when he be findin out how slippery them plastic bed liners
be when they be wet and learnin what a ladder rack feels
like against the side of your head ....

any ways Ivyman there aint no point in draggin this out ...
I called Dreem Teem but all she did was come get old no name
dog that had been riden in front with me and slept through
the whole thing .... she said to get in touch with you and
said it was partly your fault for given me the idea about
the helmet so she aint to happy with you but i be tryin to
explain about gettin to the game and the tail gatenin and
watchin the Stony Brook upset them Cornellians but she aint
listenin and so your old piken frend could use a little help
and i be thinkin you know exactly where i be now .........

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Thanks Ivyman aint i sure what you did but ...

they be lettin me out and tellin me not to be driven through
the NY again ....they be given back the truck and all but the
ice and suds be gone and only a few pheasant feathers left in
the tool box and sum one be pastein Cornell and Georgetown
stickers all over the bumper and tailgate .... and my new high
ride tires be gone and some one switchen em to bald old narrow
treads and the ladder rack be bent where your buddy be crakin
his head but what the heck thanks again Ivyman and i figure i
be headin to the Baltimore to be watchin the lacrosse......so
let the good times roll and the tailgaten began ......

your Piken frend - sixpackman

ps maybe the Swamit be at the Hopkins with the inflatable Bimbet

pps they painted the lacrosse stick orange

ppps aint rollin quite as fast now cus they took all the gas
and the money be gone from the glove holding compartment so
it be be lookin like i be doin a little hike and hitch to the
Baltimore .......see you there Ivyman.
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